Do you have to haggle with your child to get her into bed at night? Do you struggle and, in some cases, bribe your child to get into bed and settle down? Is bedtime a positive experience for you and your child? Or do you consider it a chore?
As child of the '80s, I would always get tired when I heard the theme song to Dallas or Thorn Birds. To this day, those old songs make me want to head to bed. My mind associates those songs with sleep time because those shows came on when I was brushing my teeth to get ready to go to bed. That kind of routine is very comforting. Our bodies and minds connect the most with ritual, habit or pattern. In hopes of helping parents better understand the importance of positive bedtime habits, and knowing that following a regular bedtime routine can help a lot in the behavior and maternal mood of children, I have outlined the steps which map out a route to a successful bedtime routine that both you and your child can benefit from.
1) Keep the mood positive
Laughter is one of the best ways to release stress and feel good. The chemicals released in the body through laughter reduce tension. There is probably no substitute for finding ways to have fun with our children. So, the first thing to remember is keeping the mood positive.
2) The setting
Dim the lights in your child’s room. Change the tone of your voice. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Play classical music designed for children very softly in the background. This has a very soothing effect.
3) The power of controlled Breathing
Many of us know the positive effects of controlled breathing. Controlled, conscious breathing has the benefit of relaxing muscles and reducing stress. Help your child learn to take conscious, deep breaths to relax. Have your child get into bed, lay on her back and, putting a hand on her belly, show her how to inhale deeply (preferably through the nose, but through the mouth is fine) and slowly exhale through the mouth.
Rather than thinking about the events and worries of their day, as children focus on their own breath, their minds will become quiet. Their breathing will also automatically slow down and deepen, bringing more oxygen into their bodies and helping them to relax. I recommend 5-10 deep breaths.
4) Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements about who we are, and what we can become and experience. They help us focus on what we want. The key in using affirmations effectively is to have them evoke positive emotions within us.
Steven Covey, in his best seller, "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, suggested that we can use affirmation that will help us become more congruent with our deeper values in our daily life. Covey then suggests that we repeat affirmation for a few minutes each day. After your child has taken several deep breaths, repeat with them, the following affirmations,
I am special
I am unique
I believe in me
I can do anything and anything is possible
Convey suggests that if you do this with your child, day after day your child’s behavior will start to change. It teaches, instead of living out of the scripts given to us by society or by our environment, we will be living out of the script that is written from our own self-selected value system. A powerful skill for any child to have.
5) Happy moment
And finally, in the spirit of a positive bedtime, ask your child what their happy moment of the day was? This will help them focus on the positive things that have happened to them, during the day. Your child will start by saying, “My happy moment was...” This will reinforce a positive mental mood; help them focus on happy experiences that have happened to them during the day. The perfect way for you and your child to enjoy the final moments of the day together.
One thing to remember, a child is not putty in our hands. She belong to herself and bring her own personality and unique ‘life’s work’ into the world. In order for this bedtime routine to be successful, listen to your child, allow her to express herself. The more you are awake, alive, and listening and feeling deep into your own life- instead of zipping and rushing over it’s surface-the more you will have to smile about. Your child is brilliant, full of ideas, energy and promise. Wherever you are in the world, with that thought in mind, I wish you and your child, many peaceful, happy bedtimes moments.
Summed up,
1) Keep the mood positive
2) A tranquil setting
3) The power of controlled breathing
4) Affirmations
5) Happy moment
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