She's Gifted!

In an affluent corner of Kent, in a beautiful primary school on a sunny Tuesday morning, a violin lesson was in full swing. Later that afternoon my phone rang, it was Eva's violin teacher Mrs Mills.”Good afternoon Mrs Da Silva” she said.“I feel that Eva would benefit from an individual lesson as she is progressing well. She really stands out” Mrs Mills continues. “Eva is very musical and always comes up with different twists on things” Wow, I'm impressed Eva's only had three lessons, I think to myself. 'She is very musical and its amazing how fast she's moving through the lessons,' she gushes. 'Eva really is a gifted young musician.'
And there it is, that magic word, the six letters that are music to the ears of every parent. Gifted. I put down the phone and already mapping out her ascent to the top of the international music world. Will she have her first concert in London or Paris? Does she need an agent? Are we raising the next Campoli ? Will she be offered a scholarship at Juilliard New York? After dinner I start surfing the Internet hunting for the right course to nurture my daughters gift. The ad that catches my eye promises, 'Unlock your child's genius!' My husband wonders if I'm going too far, but his words are no more than background noise to me now.

The next morning, on the walk to school, I run the idea of an individual lesson past Eva. But she is having non of it. 'But I like having my lessons with my friends, its fun when we're together.' My heart skipped a beat, but I resisted the urge to scream, 'WHAT!' Instead, I answered in a neutral tone.'That s okay honey.' Studies have shown that its not private tutors or individual lessons that boost marks or the chance of success but rather that having a passion for learning is a more reliable indicator of success. So for now Eva will continue to enjoy her violin lessons with her little friends. I don't want to hijack her childhood. What's important to me is that she's happy and enjoys what she is doing. I don't want her to miss out on the things that give texture and meaning to a human life – the small adventures, the secret journeys, enjoying her time with friends, the setbacks and mishaps, the successes and the failures.